


To lose, to gain, to have

by neela



Category: Murder Call (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Friendship, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-01
Updated: 2017-01-01
Packaged: 2018-09-14 00:13:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9148330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neela/pseuds/neela
Summary: After the events of “Dead Offerings”, Tessa gathers a bit of courage to say what’s on her mind.





	1. Losing you

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the characters. They belong to Jennifer Rowe, Hal McElroy and Southern Star. I make no profit out of this.

**Prompt:** 082\. If

* * *

“You know what?” she asked him with a little tilt to her head, making her curls bob back and forth above her slender shoulder. Her big blue eyes were hesitant as they met his. “I’m scared.”  
  
“What of?” For some reason his neck tensed and something strange coiled in his stomach. He didn’t linger on it, though, too mesmerised and trapped in the beautiful features framed by unruly blonde locks, too intent on keeping his distance.  
  
She sighed then as if some sort of monstrous obstacle had been blown to pieces and left her with free passage, yet still she was apprehensive of journeying down the road presented to her. He wondered, but remained silent, waiting.  
  
“Losing you,” she said in the end, withdrawing her gaze and fixing it on the pool table where their redheaded friend was being outmatched and seduced by a fellow constable from Forensic Services that had recently joined the forensic team. Neither of them knew him. Not that it mattered at the moment. He was too busy making sure his head didn’t snap in a sudden turn towards his companion.  
  
Had she said that? He wasn’t really sure until he saw she was starting to chew her lower lip uncertainly, slowly crossing her arms defensively. Preparing herself for which assault? Did she think so lowly of him? Is that the impression he had given in their years of friendship?  
  
When he thought about it, maybe he had. Sort of. They’d had a rough start but things settled down after a while, and now he couldn’t honestly say he hated her or something like that.  
  
But he had never actually told her that. He knew what women were like. They needed affirmation and reassurance, but he had never ventured down that road. Why’s that?  
  
Because that would mean she wasn’t just a partner any longer. It was easy to assume things were understood when not spoken of, that they could keep up the pretence of having a good and healthy working relationship. It’s not like he needed to tell old Barney that he liked him every fortnight or so.  
  
But Tessa was a woman. Therein lay the difference. Despite popular beliefs on females being just like men, science proved again and again that men and women were polar opposites. Sure they had things in common, like a decent sensibility, but none had an equal amount of anything. Like two men were different, so were two women. Based on his experiences, it was a logical conclusion to say Barney and Tessa were completely different personalities. And he should have remembered that. Whereas he didn’t need to broadcast his feelings for Barney, Tessa was a whole other matter.  
  
So why hadn’t he told her?  
  
Steve knew why. It was perfect clear. But it was something he had tucked away in his mind for so long he had been sure it would never come up. Until now when he was faced with a beautiful and defensive friend that somehow managed to relay a deeper meaning to her statement than Steve would ordinarily catch up on. Perhaps it was the state of mind after a traumatic incident when they almost lost Tootsie to a serial killer, or the atmosphere born from watching Dee move in for the big kill beside the pool table, teasing and grinning as her recipient responded favourably.  
  
And yet he couldn’t tell Tessa any of that. To her he was the big analytical and logical mind that had trouble working outside the parameters of imagination, and who had always kept things on the surface, never venturing below to the bottomless depths, letting her take first approach. So he would have to act accordingly.  
  
“You’re not gonna lose me,” Steve said off-handed, slinging his shoulder seemingly carelessly over the back of the chair, fingering with the half-filled glass of beer in front of him. He grinned for her benefit when she looked back at him, lower lip red from the self-inflicted biting. “I’m not that easy to kill off, haven’t you noticed? Us Homicide detectives have at least nine lives, though I think you’re pushing up on twenty-something.”  
  
Tessa’s lips widened in a smile at the familiar teasing, but she didn’t hold his glance for long as she withdrew and leaned forward on her elbows, sighing again as Dee and her unnamed companion leant close enough to touch but kept to the game.  
  
Steve felt his insides melt at the nearly mournful look that crossed his partner’s face and wished he’d had more balls. Had it been someone else, someone less beautiful and endearing even in sorrow, he would have made a go at her. As it was, he forced his hands to remain calm and schooled his features.  
  
“Do you think Fisk’s with her?” Tessa asked suddenly from the bottom of her water glass, only glancing at him briefly, chewing her lip again. Steve shrugged.  
  
“Don’t know. Probably.”  
  
He knew what she was truly doing. She was gathering courage. Something he seemed to lack in his little self-imposed world of Cold-hearted Bastard. She had always been the bravest of the two of them. The emotional, the driven, the obsessed; Tessa was the visible force of nature’s most fundamental phenomenon. Steve carried it all inside, making him the invisible, the one who hid behind logic and mathematical concepts. Things he could grasp with his head, not his heart.  
  
“She’ll be all right,” Steve told her softly, meeting her eyes when she looked up at him from her glass. He struggled to keep his hands where they were. “Unless Fisk bores her to death.”  
  
“He won’t,” Tessa replied certainly. “They have something special.”  
  
As she drifted off, Steve observed how her eyes glazed over and wondered not for the first time what she was envisioning in front of her. Was it Fisk hugging Tootsie tightly in the morgue after the killed had been taken down? Or a vision that had never happened but which she wanted to come true?  
  
Steve didn’t know whether he should take the opportunity she presented him with or keep to the routines he had kept religiously for three years. His stomach coiled again when faced with this dilemma and he chose ashamedly the usual way out.  
  
He kept silent.  
  
The pub supplied the sounds neither of them elicited. Music pulsated in the ground, making the chairs they sat on vibrate. A television set in the back broadcasted loudly a sports event Steve took no pleasure from watching. Laughter and off-duty talk from the thirty-odd coppers and civilians surrounding them really only made him wish for a quieter atmosphere when previously he would have managed to unwind because of it.  
  
It was strange but all Steve felt like doing wasn’t gulping down a couple of beers while chatting amiably with his friends and get all the ugly pictures and emotions out of his mind. He wanted to continue the train of thought Tessa had started earlier. He wanted her to keep talking because listening to her gentle voice trusting him with her thoughts made him relax. And he felt sort of special.  
  
‘ _Ain’t that an eye-opener,_ ’ his mind rebuffed ironically.  
  
Steve agreed.  
  
He looked back at the blonde curly bob, strands of hair sticking out where she had run her hands through it, messing it up. Coupled with the slightly creased brown trouser suit and open jacket revealing a creamy, silken shirt, it was a vision that made his stomach coil even more. It was unbelievable he had lasted all these years without doing anything.  
  
“Why are you so scared of losing me?” Steve asked bluntly, deciding beating around the bush any longer would only prolong the conversation and most likely end up with no answer at all when their sensible minds deemed it ready to head home. His eyes settled upon her beautiful features that flashed with surprise before starting to chew her lip profusely again, not quite meeting his stare.  
  
“Because...” Tessa began slowly, hands wrapped around the empty water glass until her knuckles whitened. He noted the slightly quiver in her voice and once more felt his neck tense from the strain of keeping his hands to himself.  
  
“You’re my best friend. You make me feel safe,” Tessa continued in a low mumble that shook hesitantly. She glanced up at him, giving him a sort of sad smile Steve loathed to see on her face. Like there was no light left in the world. “And you’re everything a girl could hope for.”  
  
She left the statement hanging, withdrawing from him once more as her hands abandoned the water glass, settling onto the opposite elbow joint in the now familiar defensive gesture. Off by the pool table, Dee and her seductive opponent were beginning to wrap up the game, their innuendo getting clearer for every ball that was downed. It was easy to see where their night was winding up.  
  
But Steve didn’t watch them for long. His eyes were all on his partner and best friend as his heart did an unfamiliar skip and betrayed his carefully kept charade. This time he had heard and understood perfectly what she really meant to say. And yet he was speechless. There were no words that came to his rescue. He was instead drawn to the enigma that continued to surprise him.  
  
Tessa tilted her head, noticed his expression, and then looked away again. Her voice was half a whisper and half a wondering inquiry as she spoke out of sight. “Haven’t you ever wondered what would’ve happened if we hadn’t met as partners that night?”  
  
The Funworld amusement park. Nursery rhyme serial killer that wasn’t as cool-headed as he believed he was. Steve knew what she was referring to. He knew because it was something that had stayed tucked away in the back of his mind for years.  
  
When he didn’t answer, Tessa chuckled darkly, still faced away from him. “I did. I still do. When I’m with you and see how amazing you are, I can’t help but wonder...what if?”  
  
What if Steve had hit on her? What if Tessa had returned the sentiment? What if they had never been partners? There were so many and from the turn of the conversation, Steve could only assume Tessa had thought of them all. Just like him.  
  
“Then again,” Tessa sighed in defeat, “As much as I’d like to initiate things, I’m scared of ruining everything.”  
  
She didn’t ask him about his emotions, she just assumed they were similar to hers. Did she read him that well? Had they known each other so long and so well? Steve hadn’t realised. Tessa truly was the bravest of them both when hinting on this subject and then suddenly revealing everything, drawing him into her entrapment as steadily as she did the suspects.  
  
“I’ve done it before,” Tessa continued without a thought to his inner battle, as if rolling on a tidal wave she couldn’t escape once it had caught her. “With Ezra, with Brett. There was this one guy who managed to stay my friend afterwards, but it didn’t last long once he got back together with his ex. Now they’re all gone and I can’t help wondering: Is there something wrong with me?”  
  
Steve realised her voice broke at the last word and scrutinised her hunched shoulders for any sign of upset, but there wasn’t even a shiver, just silence as Tessa drifted off somewhere out of reach.  
  
He couldn’t help it. His hands began to move in her direction.  
  
But then she turned towards him and he lost the momentary surge of courage, letting the arms fall down before she noticed. A lone tear was tracing the length of her cheek, down her jaw and ending up hanging precariously on the tip of her chin. The sad smile sent towards him turned his insides to mush.  
  
“I’m always falling for my best friends,” Tessa half-whispered, “Yet when my mind’s screaming for me to keep my distance I can’t help but wonder if I’m losing my life’s opportunity not doing anything?”  
  
And in that moment, Steve wondered about that as well.  
  
But he was too much of a coward to do anything. He was the invisible one, the one who made reasonable choices. This was not his territory. He simply did not have the words.  
  
He met Tessa’s beautiful blue eyes, clenching his beer.  
  
“Do you want something stronger than water?”  
  
 **TBC**


	2. Gaining you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the events of “Dead Offerings” and Tessa's revelation, Steve gathers a bit of courage to say what’s on his mind.

**Prompt:**  083. And

* * *

“Steve! What’re you doing here?” she exclaimed, her beautiful blue eyes wide and large in surprise.  
  
He was strangely startled to see her out of the standard sober trouser suit, dressed in comfortable loose khakis and an oversized T-shirt, her mass of curls tangled as if she had just gotten out of bed. Which she very might well have; it was nearly midnight.  
  
The time had hardly been on his mind, however, when Steve had twisted in bed for the umpteenth time, wide awake and unable to rid his mind of the various thoughts running through it after the night at the pub.  
  
Impulsively, he had decided to take a shot. A pretty wide shot but certainly worth the try, he had reasoned. There was simply no chance of getting a decent night’s sleep in the state he currently was – a state caused by his best friend’s heart-spoken revelations earlier this evening. So he had taken one glance at the clock, chancing Tessa had still not gone to bed, and dressed in a rush, practically running out of the door before his head caught up with his heart and forced him back on track.  
  
And now he was here, standing outside her apartment door, chest heaving from exertion as if he’d run ten miles back and forth, hands clenching as he tried profoundly to find his courage. She had been so brave this night and he had yet to repay the sentiment. She deserved the truth. They both did. And fast – with her big, inquiring eyes directed at him Steve was quickly losing whatever nerve he’d jumped on.  
  
“I didn’t wake you?” he heard himself ask shakily, inwardly groaning at the lame worry in his voice. Bad thing to say. Now he was certainly bound to ruin it; that’s what always happened when a sliver of his logical mind managed to up the wishes of his heart. Needless to say the two were fighting a constant battle whenever in the presence of his partner.  
  
Tessa looked even more worried, starting to bite her lower lip before answering. “No. I couldn’t sleep.” It seemed like she wanted to add something, but lost the courage and instead opened the door further. “You coming in or staying on my doorstep all night?” There was humour, an attempt to lighten the mood her intuitive mind was surely breaking down and analysing until it reached the proper conclusion. They were similar in that way.  
  
“Sure,” Steve breathed, stepping through the open doorway and into Tessa’s darkened apartment. Only the light above the aquarium was on, bathing the living room/kitchenette in a neon-blue light. Tessa turned on a lamp by the sofa and sat down, drawing her bare feet up beneath her as she once more looked up at where he stood rooted to the floor.  
  
She didn’t say anything, just staring up at him beneath darkened lashes, her pale face lacking any of the make-up she normally wore. He found himself unable to draw his eyes away from her, transfixed by the picture she portrayed in front of him.  
  
The continued silence where the aquarium’s tiny clucking was the only sound besides the blood Steve felt was roaring in his ears made him realise he was once more stalling and Tessa was quite prepared to wait it out. She had already asked the purpose of his visit. Normally it wouldn’t be strange - they always hung out together at the oddest time of the day – but the pub night’s revelations were still glaringly crystal clear inside his mind and Tessa knew it. He could see it on her face. Worry for his self-imposed silence, anticipation of what he would say once he managed to get a word out.  
  
“Did you really mean it?” Steve thought he sounded oddly distant, estranged, as if it wasn’t really him that spoke the question. And yet he knew it was all him, if not a part that was never permitted to rear its head, quelled down and locked away into a corner of his mind by the systematic logic that said such notions were unreasonable nonsense.  
  
It was written on her features that the question discomforted her and Tessa was slowly wrapping her arms around herself unconsciously. It was like another slap to his already fractured mind, but Steve forced himself around the bruised part. He needed to know. He really did.  
  
“Yes,” Tessa replied hesitantly, looking away, voice soft and just barely above a mutter.  
  
Steve felt his pulse quicken and his breath left him momentarily. That answered one of his questions at least. Just a couple more to, if agreeable, return sleep to him again.  
  
He shifted on his feet, deciding against moving over to the sofa and settling beside her, sure the action would scare her even more than his current presence did. The blush on Tessa’s cheek gave away her vulnerability and shame that she didn’t have more control over the situation. Steve took a deep breath before continuing.  
  
“Am I your best friend?” Steve asked slowly, half unable to look at her in case she said no, the other completely immersed in the way her blonde curls fell forward to hide half her face, barely touching the naked nape of her neck. How he wanted...  
  
Tessa’s grip on her arms tightened and she looked pointedly away, causing more curls to bob forth and hide her eyes from view. If it hadn’t been for her soft-spoken, “Yes”, Steve would have stridden over and brushed the locks away so he could see her beautiful blue eyes again.  
  
‘…She actually said yes.’ his mind noted in surprise, freezing his muscles as his heart gave a big lurch against his ribcage.  
  
Now the air was tense in anticipation and a sense of fear. Both realised exactly where they stood, what had been exchanged between them, and what was left unspoken. Steve knew it was his call. Tessa had done her part; she had laid herself bare on his feet and revealed a secret that had the power to destroy her, and him. She had never expected honesty from him, had known what kind of man he was – a stickler for rules that was hard pressed to stick his neck out if the threat was professional suicide – and yet she had surprised him yet again, making him wonder how many layers Tessa Vance possessed. The partner, the best friend, the woman... She was each and everything. And Steve knew now, after hours of silent internal battle since the revelations, that he had carried the same worry as her: Was he missing his life’s opportunity sticking to his Golden Rule?  
  
It was time to put things right, to shed the barrier between them; to surprise her like she turned his head so many times in sheer wonder..  
  
Steve went over to the sofa, sitting down precariously on the edge of the coffee table, and reached out to brush the curls that had fascinated him for so many years away from her striking eyes.  
  
Tessa’s eyes widened in alarm and she squirmed in an attempt to resist, but Steve cupped her cheek and held her face steady. Seated so close to her, he could feel the tension building up and knew this had to be resolved before Tessa got some misunderstood notion about his reason for doing this. The rumours and grapevine – yes, he’d heard it all over the years – spoke great tales of his female escapades, of his virility, but what he wanted wasn’t just the physical satisfaction. He needed the mental stability that had sorely lacked ever since he met the phenomenon Tessa Vance and knew there was only one who could offer it.  
  
“I can’t help thinking I’m missing my life’s opportunity either,” Steve spoke softly, gently, but firmly. He wouldn’t let her misunderstand; he knew how hastily she could jump to conclusions occasionally when she felt out of her depth, like now.  
  
Tessa’s eyes widened even further and Steve smiled quickly, stroking her soft cheek, all the while fighting the urge to push forward and capture her delicious lips before his courage dispersed. It wasn’t the physical Steve Hayden he wanted her to show, but the man behind the mask, the one that didn’t want to listen to reason and was locked away for the sake of his career and their friendship.  
  
“I—I don’t...” Tessa breathed, swallowing before biting her lip again nervously. “I’m not sure...”  
  
“I don’t think we should hold back, Tess,” Steve interrupted softly in a mutter, leaning just a tiny bit closer to give her an idea of what he wanted and at the same time offering her the opportunity to pull away. His heart hoped she wouldn’t. He wasn’t used to exposing himself like this; he doubted he would take it well if Tessa rejected him.  
  
Steve hesitated when she didn’t speak, just staring at him in shock, lower lip stuck between her teeth. Had he done what she was mortified of doing? Ruining everything they had? There was no way back from this, no return to the normal routines and superficial sentiments they knew so well. They had taken a tentative step forward but had yet to put the foot down, still drenched in uncertainties, frozen in time and space. Was it a mistake? He didn’t know.  
  
But the blonde curls teasing the back of his hand and the soft skin beneath his fingertips were reeling him in like a fish caught on the hook, pulling him forward until their noses were barely touching. He met her big blue eyes head on, willing the emotions clenching his stomach to shine through to her, to make her see he was completely honest with her. This wasn’t a sick joke or Steve’s need to satisfy his primal needs.  
  
To make sure there would be no misunderstanding, Steve spoke up: “You’re not the only one falling for your best friends.”  
  
That shook her and Tessa stared at him with uncertainty, her breathing hot and heavy, sending a shiver down his spine and groin as it met his skin.  
  
“Am I your best friend?” she repeated the same question he had flung on her earlier slowly and hesitatingly, fear flashing across her features. Fear of his rejection? Possibly.  
  
Steve couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face. “The best.”  
  
And Tessa’s breath hitched, the heat intensifying between them until Steve could barely hold on to his control any longer, but then her now sore red lip escaped her teeth’s captivity and a tentative smile grazed her lips.  
  
It broke his control.  
  
Steve pushed forward and did what he had wanted to do for the past three years: capturing his partner and best friend’s delicious full lips, delighted when Tessa only hesitated for a second before melding into him, hands snaking around his neck and bringing him close enough to feel she wasn’t wearing a bra under that oversized T-shirt.  
  
When Tessa pulled him roughly down on top of her, Steve was all too willing.  
  
 **TBC**


	3. Having you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the events of “Dead Offerings” and their mutual revelations, things go straight to the gutter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's for tempe_brennandr on LJ, who kind of requested it. I wasn't difficult to ask!

**Prompt:**  004. Insides

* * *

Tessa hadn’t imagined this would happen when Steve had stormed out of Homicide earlier that day, accusing her of never letting anything get to her. She hadn’t imagined this would happen when she’d laid herself bare at the pub afterwards, admitting to him that she  _did_  actually let things get to her. Things like loneliness and fear – emotions that seldom let her sleep at night, that made her hate the nights.  
  
When he’d barely said anything to her revelations, she’d taken it as a sign he wasn’t interested. She’d thought he’d let her down gently, tell her that what they had together – friendship and partnership – was good enough; that he’d be there even if it wasn’t in the capacity she wanted. At the very least, she’d expected him to say she wasn’t alone, that she wouldn’t lose him.  
  
For a moment – a very long, lonesome moment – she’d thought she had. She’d gone home thinking she’d done what she’d feared and ruined a perfectly good friendship. She’d tossed and turned, thought of ways to redeem herself, to downplay the things she’d said as a one-off thing…and then he’d turned up.  
  
And now, his hands were caressing her cheeks, his eyes were dark and bottomless, and he was leaning in, stealing the breath from her lungs. Tessa gasped right before his lips met hers and she was half-starved for air even before they began, the lack of oxygen making her dazed and practically intoxicated.  
  
She didn’t care, though. An overwhelming fire rolled over her, born from the coil of tense anticipation in the pit of her gut and she surged in without reason, without thinking things through, just diving headfirst into whatever was happening. She could feel his restraint, and she knew it should’ve sobered her, but all she could think about was how those soft, hot lips of his weren’t enough. Something that’d slumbered in the depth of her being was roaring awake with a vengeance, telling her she couldn’t let go now. Perhaps it was euphoria, because she certainly felt fantastic, high even, and all her usual restraints were thrown out the window.  
  
Steve yelped a little when she suddenly hooked her arms around his neck and jerked him closer, forcing him off her coffee table and on top of her instead. There was a moment – a very brief moment – when their lips disconnected and their eyes connected, and they saw each other for the first time in this new light they’d spawned.  
  
He looked  _wonderful_. Flushed cheeks, dark glittering eyes, lips parted, chest heaving slightly as if out of breath. His knees were on either side of her legs, his arms holding him slightly above her, but not too far. Just enough that she could feel the wave of energy, of desire, rolling off him rapidly, ensnaring her as effectively as his whole body would.  
  
In that microsecond, Tessa knew she could turn back if she wanted to, knew that Steve could step back if he wanted to, and neither of them would go away too disappointed. They’d proved their words enough for now – if they wanted to.  
  
Tessa grinned stupidly, entangled her fingers in his hair, and decided she didn’t want to.  
  
A similar expression on his face was all the nudge she needed to tug him close again. Their lips crashed and battled, all hot, wet and heavy, and she could feel her heart thumping wildly in her chest and her ears at each of the soft groans that escaped Steve’s throat.  
  
Everything was on fire. Every touch, bite, caress and grip sent exhilarating trembles throughout her body, pooling at the apex of her thighs, making her restless and needy. The maximum distance of her senses was reduced to his hands running up underneath her T-shirt, to the shudder in his breath when he reached her naked breasts, to the way she twisted so that her legs could wrap around his hips, to how she gaspingly rubbed their groins together.  
  
His lips tore away from hers to follow the direction of his hands and Tessa arched her back, moaning, when they found her nipples. Firmly and relentlessly, he sucked them, teasing them with his tongue in the same rhythm he was rolling his hips against her. Each stroke of his hardness against her groin turned the embers into hellfire, and her conscious thought barely held on as the T-shirt disappeared, closely followed by his sweater, and flesh finally met flesh, hot and demanding.  
  
Gasping for air, she needed his lips again and pulled him up firmly, her fingers massaging his scalp, her enveloping arms making sure their torsos didn’t lose touch. A groan tore from his throat and his hands entangled in her hair too, mussing it up, both of them fighting for dominance. Distantly, she could hear the blood pounding in her ears and his rapid heartbeat, but all of that faded to the background as Steve suddenly jerked her up into a sitting position, arms hooked underneath hers, and pulled her to her feet.  
  
Tessa didn’t get a chance to breathe properly before he’d started half-walking, half-pushing, half-devouring her through the darkened living room, past the neon-lit kitchen, and into her bedroom. However, once in there, pushed against the hard edge of her four-foot high bed, her mind crashed back to consciousness and she broke off their kiss to stare at him for a moment, their chests heaving, their arms still entangled in each other.  
  
“You sure?” She hated the distance, the lack of his lips on hers, but the only rational part of her brain left needed a definite answer to this question. There wouldn’t be a point of no return after this. This was it. Here and now.  
  
Steve grinned devilishly. “Oh yeah. You?”  
  
Tessa shared the wicked smile, echoing his “Oh yeah” before lurching him close once more. The edge of her bed dug hard into her back, but she hardly noticed as they both began to shrug out of their trousers and underwear, their lips locked again, their tongues battling for entrance.  
  
She gave a surprised gasp when Steve’s hands snuck down to her thighs, hooking underneath them and half-lifted her up on the bed’s edge. The bed was too high to wrap her legs around his hips again, so she grabbed his shoulders, pulling him along with her. For a graceless moment, they laughed and giggled as they climbed onto her bed and shuffled into place so they were locked together again, Steve’s long body half-covering hers. Once there, though, Tessa kissed him again, her hands running across his muscular back, his arms, and then down to his naked bottom. She gasped when his lips trailed down her cheek, her neck, her collarbone, and back to her breasts again, stoking the hellfire once more.  
  
Distantly, she knew she was muttering his name beneath her breath like a litany. It rose in volume when he rolled his hardness against her opening and she felt the friction cause the early waves to begin sucking her into the whirlpool. He was so hard, so soft, so  _everywhere_ , and she found it difficult to keep a single thought besides “oh god” as he trailed his tongue in circles around her nipples and let his hands begin to ghost down the sides of her stomach.  
  
Sweat had begun to dampen the back of her neck and coat both of them, and Tessa wrapped her legs tightly around him, her hands entangled in his hair, as the pressure began to build within her. It was a delicious feeling, sweet and storming, and she just wanted to reach the end of that line.  
  
So when he pried apart her legs and shifted into position, Tessa became restless, impatient. She hooked her legs around his, barely taking a moment to appreciate him, his length, his hardness, before forcing him close, reclaiming his lips. Steve chuckled somewhat, but acquiesced all too easily. His hands returned to her hips and pulled her roughly to him, rubbing up against her wetness, testing her, brushing his length against the little bud nearby.  
  
As the breath tore from her lungs, she allowed herself to think for a moment – a very brief moment – that it hadn’t been like this with Ezra, with Brett.  
  
And in that very brief moment, Tessa locked her gaze with Steve and felt her whole body plummet as if free falling. There was such depth in those eyes, such presence, such  _love_ , that she forgot to breathe, forgot to let her senses overcome her. His lips were parted, his gaze settled fully and wholly on her face, and she wondered if he felt it too, from her. She hoped he did, because what she was feeling right now…it wasn’t just lust.  
  
Then she didn’t have any time left to ponder it as Steve suddenly entered her, and her back arched, her eyes squeezed shut at the sensation of being filled to the brim.  
  
“Oh god,” she groaned, her arms automatically holding on to him, ensnaring him, wanting to take him in even deeper. There was a sense of completion, of wholeness, and Tessa’s legs wrapped tightly around him, locking him in place.  
  
“You okay?” Steve sounded worried, his body tense and still, his breath heavy. Tessa opened her eyes, grinned, and tugged his face close enough to bite his lip with a searing, drawn-out kiss.  
  
It was all the nudge he needed.  
  
With a matching smirk, he began to move and she threw her head back, caught up in the vortex of the whirlpool once more. There was so much going on. The crescendo was soaring ever higher, rising in intensity, and she had a hard time keeping up. Every nerve was on fire. Every muscle was in action. Every thought was long gone from her mind. All that mattered was Steve’s lips, Steve's groans, Steve's hands on her hips, Steve's length pulling in and out of her in a delicious mix of wet and hard.  
  
Tessa felt herself rising, felt her fingers sneak down to tweak her nipple, to brush her bundle of nerves, and heard Steve's groans match the rapidly increasing pace he'd set. She knew it wouldn't be long now, knew she was getting impatient, that they both were, and she rushed toward that finish line with blood pounding in her ears.  
  
The release was earth-shattering. At the tip of the tide, she broke through the waves and crashed, spiralling outwards, her whole body wracked with trembles that stole the precious air left in her lungs. She knew she was loud, knew it couldn't be helped, and knew Steve was tumbling after her into the abyss. With a final tight clench that encompassed their entire bodies, their senses exploded and they half-collapsed, half-fell in a sweaty, tangled mix of limbs, gasps and kisses.  
  
As she came to, Tessa was panting, her hands once more wrapped in Steve's hair where his head rested on her chest. She trailed butterfly kisses down his temple to his cheek, a voiceless, euphoric litany on her lips. With a soft groan, Steve slipped out and rolled onto his side, and she saw his eyes were closed. When they opened and met hers, a brilliant smile filled his face.  
  
“Wow.”  
  
Tessa laughed. “Yeah.”  
  
Joining her laugh, Steve wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close. Tessa didn't need to be asked twice, curling into his sweaty warmth with a soft, contented sigh.  
  
It felt right lying there in his arms. It wasn’t awkward. Maybe it’d be so in the morning, but it wasn’t right now, and that’s what Tessa focused on. After all, they’d have time to work out the rest.  
  
 **FIN**


End file.
